For years Scott and I tried to have children. Then came the questions of are we done? Do we have more? CAN we have more? Then Cole came and we were overjoyed but again questions. Are we done?
I have talked to friends who have known for certain they were done. I wondered what that would feel like. How could they know for sure? Last summer Scott and I were at the end of the questions. We decided that 12 years of trying to have/grow our family were all we could take and we needed to shut the door on that part of our lives. I never felt like that was the right thing to do but fertility meds were not working and frankly we were tired. So I started to think about selling off all the baby items in the attic because there was so much stuff but lets face it, babies need a lot of stuff!!! Before (thank goodness) I could get things sold I decided to take a 3rd pregnancy test purchased from the Dollar Store and this one came back positive. You mean to tell me the Dollar Store test worked better then the $16 ones I had been buying? YES! In the past we had waited to tell people because of lost pregnancies but this time I knew it was going to stick and I just couldn't keep the smile off my face!
So on through the pregnancy we went knowing this was going to be my last one. Then came the day she was to be born and even though I had done it twice before I wondered if she could just stay in there. She didn't really have to come out right? But of course she did and she was beautiful. After she was here one of the most AMAZING things happened. I felt peace. I had never felt that before concerning having children but there it was. Sitting in that hospital room holding her I knew for a fact she was our last. She had just completed our family and in the most beautiful way. I finally knew what my friends meant when they said they knew for certain they were done!
Now Miss Hailey Jean is 5 months old! She refuses to sleep, only wants to be held and won't take a paci or bottle and I love her immensely! I tend to walk around like a zombie in the morning getting Tate ready for school and he puts up with me. He knows I spend most of my nights awake with Hailey. He likes to come in at 5:30 in the morning (why do they not sleep?!) while I'm feeding her to say hi before he goes down to read or play. If I'm lucky I can get back in bed for another 30 min before the alarm goes off to start another day. She is so loved by her brothers it melts my heart. Snuggles and kisses every morning and night are given and it's almost a contest to see who can make her smile the most. It's funny though to see how quickly they disperse once she starts crying. Lol!
So here is our sweet girl, our princess our last.