Life Lessons

So Tate got in the car yesterday and he didn't want to talk to me.  This is so out of character for him! Not only did he not want to talk to me but he had tears slowly streaming down his face.  Granted, we had a hard morning (adjusting to the time change) so I was prepared for aloofness but this was way beyond what I expected.

I quietly asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't want to tell me.  That he was embarrassed and he thought I would get mad at him.  Again, my mind went to the morning when I had gotten frustrated over his anger of not having more time to play before school.  Keep in mind the kid wakes up at 5:30 so he's used to having hours to do whatever he wants before school starts.  The time change has eaten into his morning time!

I asked him if he was still upset about the morning fully expecting him to say yes.  I heard a soft tear ridden no come from the back of the car.  This surprised me.  I asked him if something had happened at school.  This time a yes.  When I pushed for more information he just kept repeating he didn't want to tell me.  This of course gets my brain working and dozens of scenarios go through my head the rest of the way home.

When we got home I carried Cole up to bed, he tends to fall asleep while we are getting Tate, then I went back to the car where Tate and Hailey were waiting.  We all went inside and I got Tate a snack while trying to figure out how to get Tate to tell me what was wrong.  It was quite obvious he was upset.  He denied the snack and instead went to the chair where he curled up in the fetal position where even more tears silently fell.  What was wrong with him?!!

I sat on the floor to play with Hailey and started asking questions.  Did someone say something to him, no.  Did he get in trouble, no.  Did he use a swear word, no.  He had said he was afraid I would be mad at him so I am trying to go over what might make me mad.  Did he kick someone, no.  Since he was answering so feebly and because I needed to see him smile a bit I tried a different tactic to get him to laugh or smile and lighten the mood.  Did he start a food fight, no.  Did he fart boogers, no.  At least I got a little giggle.  Yes, he's a boy.  

At this point Hailey had started to fuss so I knew I needed to get her down for a nap.  I let him know I would be down soon and we could get started on his homework.  While sitting with Hailey in her room my mind started going in another direction.  Had someone tried to get him to drink something he shouldn't have?  Were there drugs at school?  Were there inappropriate pictures being passed around and he had looked at them?!  My head is spinning with all these possibilities and I am starting to panic and I know I HAVE to get it out of him!

When I made it back downstairs 30 minutes later Tate was sitting at the table making a coloring page for Cole.  He had paper, scissors and glue and seemed pretty happy.  I sat down across from him and he looked up at me and asked if I wanted to know what had happened at school.  "Yes I do!" I wanted to scream out but I controlled myself and said, "If you're ready to tell me."  He looked at me and said he had been pretending to cut his shirt in class then he actually did cut it.  He then showed me the hole he had made in his sleeve.

I reached over and grabbed him and pulled him on my lap for a hug telling him it was ok and that we could fix it.  I felt relief coursing through me but at the same time there was shame and fear.  I wondered if I would have gotten upset with him had he not told me he was scared to tell me what had happened and honestly I don't know how I would have reacted.   I would like to think I would have said the same.  It has made me really think though about how I want my children to always know they can come to me with any problem or concern they have.  Tate is 8 years-old right now.  The teenage years haven't hit.  If he won't talk to me now there is no way he will come to me in 5+ years.

So now I need to reassure all three of my children that they are loved and will always be loved by their parents.  That we will always be there for them and want to know about their fears, concerns, life.  I remember my mom telling me that family will always be there for you and this is so true.  Hopefully this was a lesson for him as well to know that he can talk to me and that I will respond in a positive way.

Center Stage...well side stage!

Cole had his first Christmas Program for school on Thursday.  He has been working sooo hard and has been serenading us daily with his songs.  He was very excited to be able to sing them to us which was funny because he did not sing NEARLY as well as he has in the car, tub, bed, table, basement.  You get the idea.  His teacher told them they could all wear pj's so he had them picked out and ready to go when he woke up.  They needed to be clean to go to school!  Lol.

We pulled Tate out of school early so he could come support his brother and Scott took a late lunch break.  Cole was of course adorable.  I took a video of every song but wish I had kept the video rolling after each song.  Some of the videos were too long so I had to upload them to Dropbox. Enjoy!!

This is his class coming in.  You will notice how excited he was to see us.  He continues to say "CHEESE" at the beginning of the song.

Jingle Bells

This was his favorite song of the day.  I love how at the end he sit and starts to clap.  His face cracks me up!

Happy Holidays

Christmas Star!

After this song of letters and their sound Cole announced to the audience he had made up a song and continued on with the letters and their sounds.  Had everyone chuckling.

Letters

Here is a pic of his class.

We finished our day with slushies.  His choice of treat.  I can't believe how quickly he is growing!  Sure love this boy!

5 Months Old!

For years Scott and I tried to have children.  Then came the questions of are we done?  Do we have more?  CAN we have more?  Then Cole came and we were overjoyed but again questions.  Are we done?

I have talked to friends who have known for certain they were done.  I wondered what that would feel like.  How could they know for sure?  Last summer Scott and I were at the end of the questions.  We decided that 12 years of trying to have/grow our family were all we could take and we needed to shut the door on that part of our lives.  I never felt like that was the right thing to do but fertility meds were not working and frankly we were tired.  So I started to think about selling off all the baby items in the attic because there was so much stuff but lets face it, babies need a lot of stuff!!!  Before (thank goodness) I could get things sold I decided to take a 3rd pregnancy test purchased from the Dollar Store and this one came back positive.  You mean to tell me the Dollar Store test worked better then the $16 ones I had been buying?  YES!  In the past we had waited to tell people because of lost pregnancies but this time I knew it was going to stick and I just couldn't keep the smile off my face!

So on through the pregnancy we went knowing this was going to be my last one.  Then came the day she was to be born and even though I had done it twice before I wondered if she could just stay in there.  She didn't really have to come out right?  But of course she did and she was beautiful.  After she was here one of the most AMAZING things happened.  I felt peace.  I had never felt that before concerning having children but there it was.  Sitting in that hospital room holding her I knew for a fact she was our last.  She had just completed our family and in the most beautiful way.  I finally knew what my friends meant when they said they knew for certain they were done!

Now Miss Hailey Jean is 5 months old!  She refuses to sleep, only wants to be held and won't take a paci or bottle and I love her immensely!  I tend to walk around like a zombie in the morning getting Tate ready for school and he puts up with me.  He knows I spend most of my nights awake with Hailey.  He likes to come in at 5:30 in the morning (why do they not sleep?!) while I'm feeding her to say hi before he goes down to read or play.  If I'm lucky I can get back in bed for another 30 min before the alarm goes off to start another day.  She is so loved by her brothers it melts my heart. Snuggles and kisses every morning and night are given and it's almost a contest to see who can make her smile the most.  It's funny though to see how quickly they disperse once she starts crying.  Lol!

So here is our sweet girl, our princess our last.

Break long time coming...

So usually by this time in the year I have finished one weekend of Christmas installs and am gearing up for a whole week and weekend of late nights, exhausting work and torn up hands.  I also get to spend the time with one of my favorite people making it all worth it.  This year however I was unable to do any of my installs.  Even though we had moved I had intended to fly back for the week but a 14 lb person made this impossible.  With Hailey not taking a bottle, my leaving was not an option.  I made the call to tell Kayla and apologized profusely.  She understood (or at least pretended to) and I promised to be there next year.  Then it started to set in.  I didn't have to work this year!  It is my first year off in 14 years.  I could sleep in the weekend after Thanksgiving instead of leaving at first light.  I could go and do fun things with my family instead of missing out.  As much as I have enjoyed doing installs over the years I am going to take this break and enjoy every minute of it.  Until next year Kayla!    

One Excited Boy

Today was an exciting day for Cole!  With the move this summer, a newborn and getting Cole fully potty trained we were not able to start preschool at the beginning of the year.  One of the hardest things was getting Cole potty trained!!

For those of you who do not know Cole there are 2 words that describe his personality. Independent and Stubborn.  I, of course, am neither of those things....  Tate was very easy to potty train.  There's the potty, sit on it, done!  Cole was an entirely another story.  We used every tactic out there and had so many helpful suggestions but it all boiled down to when Cole was ready.  I finally decided one week that Cole was ready (again I am not stubborn at all).  I was stocked on potty training juice and we said bye-bye to all diapers.  For 4 days Cole hardly ever left my side and if he did Hailey and I were on his tail!  After day 1 he was good on the potty but it was #2 that ended up being the issue.  Anyone who has ever had to clean out poopy underwear on a daily or several times a day basis understands the frustration Scott and I were feeling!  Lol!  Cole started losing privileges and we resorted to bribery.  The two biggest were he would get a slushy when he went in the potty and he could start pre-school!  Still weeks passed and he refused to poop in the potty.  His reason to why won't you go in the potty was "I don't know!'

A month or so ago I woke up and said ok, today is the day.  It's going to happen.  When Cole woke up I asked him if he was ready to be awesome and he said yeah.  I said it was the day he was going to poop on the potty and he was going to be awesome!  Needless to say, it didn't happen that day BUT it  did happen the next!!!  We woke up again and told him he was going to be awesome that day and he was!  Relief, tears, excitement all around.  Tate and I were in the loft jumping up and down while Cole was on the pot.  Who knew we could get so excited over poo!  Lol!  (I know you're glad there aren't any pics of this. You're welcome.)

So the privileges came pouring back.  Snowman blanket, toys, iPad time, a new Batman backpack and of course his slushy and preschool!  I had planned to wait until the beginning of the year but we decided he would have fun doing holiday activities with his class so off he went today.

We of course had to do the obligatory picture at the front door.  His favorite question?  "Why?"  So I can always remember this awesome day Cole.

When I asked him what he wanted to be when he grow up he answered "YOU!".  Heart melt.  He then continued to say he wanted to be a daddy which was also very sweet.  Love this boy.

 Another quirk of Cole's is his inability to look at the camera when taking a picture.  He LOVES to say cheese sometimes to the point where all the veins in his neck pop out but he does his best to not look at the camera!

So, another huge checkmark in the life of Cole.  He is growing up way too fast.  I love though that every day he wakes up and comes to give me my favorites (kisses and snuggles).

Enjoy your day and your Thanksgiving Feast!

Moving Out and Moving On!!

In 2000 we moved to Texas with the intention of only staying 3-5 years.  Scott had graduated from college and accepted a job with a company he had interned with during one of his breaks.  I had actually always wanted to live in Texas (and have a cattle ranch) and was excited for a new adventure.  Well, those 3-5 years stretched into 14 years and we have loved it here!  Some of our best memories have been made here. 

All three of our children were born here. 

 Tate

 Cole

Hailey

We bought our first house here.  

We spent so much time with family.

And we have made some amazing friends.  The time has come though for another change in our lives.  We will be moving to Utah in August.  We are excited about this opportunity although very sad to be leaving Texas, friends and family behind.  When making this decision we weighed our options.  With summer upon us it made the hot vs not so hot part easy!  Maybe if it had been winter time the decision would have been different.  Although, this last winter here with all the ice was kinda brutal!  We are looking forward to hiking in the mountains, spending time with grandparents in ID, visiting Temple Square at Christmastime and a trip to Disneyland next year.  Disneyland was one of my conditions if we were to move.  ;)   We are just going to adjust and spend vacations in Texas now instead of Idaho.  We just might not be coming in the summer.... 

Details now.  We have no idea where we are moving and as of right now I can't give you an exact date of when we are moving other then Scott starts Aug 11th.  Whether or not we are all there by then I have no idea.  We are moving forward with faith that all will work itself out.

So, to all our Texas friends, if you need a break from the heat feel free to come visit us!  To our Utah friends, we look forward to seeing you soon! 

Introducing....

Here she is!

Hailey Jean Johnson
6lbs 12oz
19.25"

Hailey has been such a sweet angel today.  We are so blessed to have her in our family! Thank you for all your kind words of support today.